The poorly packed cardboard box of my soul

I’m nothing if not committed. Styrofoam packing peanuts are no way to present Valentine’s Day gifts. For one, they’re white. That’s not red. Secondly they harm the environment - and we live in the environment! So what is one to do? How about, make heart-shaped packing material that will prevent the lovey goodness inside from jostling about in a most un-lovey way?

First, take 100 sheets of construction paper. Or more depending on the size of the box. 12 hours and a pack of smokes later (with breaks for food and fluid release) my box isn’t nearly as full as I’d like it to be, so I’m probably doing another 150-200 sheets tomorrow…

Get some goooood scissors.

Cut long slivers of paper and fold them in half. Cut half-hearts along the folded edge, just like you did in grade school, but on a much smaller scale. 10-12 hearts per sliver or less depending on what size you prefer. I go for a mix.

Put scraps aside for garbage. I mean, composting! (Environment, remember? We talked about this earlier, weren’t you paying attention?)

Fill box with newly-born heart confetti.

Add your gifs, make sure they’re covered a bit with confetti, and give to loved one.

Of course, once I was halfway through I remembered that my Ma has a heart-shaped paper punch. But that’s just silly, because it would look like a machine did it, and machines are not capable of emotion. My hand hurts, my fingers are numb, RSI is setting in…

That’s love, baby.